Here's how to help a friend get out of a toxic relationship
Is a friend of yours stuck in a toxic relationship but you don't know what to do to help? Here are a few tips.
Lately Trendy's editor gave you 4 tips to comfort someone who is going through a difficult time. Today she delves into toxic relationships. Here, we are talking about psychological abuse which can unfortunately sometimes be accompanied by physical violence. But how do you recognize a destructive romance? Usually, it's when a person is with a partner that does them more harm than good. If you notice that your friend is in more pain than he / she enjoys their romance, something is wrong. If their behavior changes, is unhappy, or their self-esteem drops, action must be taken. But beware, it is better to avoid setting foot in the dish. Here are some tips to help your friend find the path to happiness.
This is the first thing to do: be a listening ear. Let your friend tell you about their problems and be there for him / her. Make her understand that you will always be there in case of need and especially if she wishes to confide. And if it ever does, let him / her take their time. He / she needs to feel comfortable opening up to you. Avoid being too virulent or insisting that he / she break up with his / her partner, this will only hold him / her up and he / she may even omit to tell you everything. the truth for fear of your negative remarks. You are not there to debate or convince him / her and even less to impose your opinion. You must subtly get her to question her relationship. Leaving a toxic relationship is a long process and you have to be patient.. Go with him / her and reassure him / her, he / she will be grateful to you.
Stay as neutral as possible
Even if you are angry and outraged by the way your friend is being treated in their relationship, try to take a step back. Do not put pressure on him / her to make a decision quickly and not to court his / her partner. It really won't have the desired effect. On the contrary, he / she risks getting on the defensive. Worse yet, he / she might even come to defend his tormentor. The denial phase is difficult to manage but tell yourself that it is his well-being that takes precedence in this situation. To try to get him / her to react, you can however confide your concerns and doubts with as much frankness as benevolence.. Telling him that you care about what is happening to him and that he / she has your unwavering support to get out of this grip is important.
Share your personal experience
You are probably reluctant to bring this subject up with your friend, but know that it is necessary to reach out to him / her to prevent him / her from falling into solitude. To make him want to open up about what he / she is going through, you can talk to him / her about your own complicated relationships. Or those around you. Don't be afraid to show yourself vulnerable by admitting, for example, that you have sometimes excused your ex's bad behavior or simply ignored the red flags. Try not to compare too much so that he / she doesn't feel manipulated. It may seem obvious but explain to her that a relationship is supposed to bring you love, joy, peace and not pain.. He / She will realize that he / she is not the only one going through this. And with any luck, maybe your story will open her eyes to her situation.
Don't judge her
The last thing your friend needs is to be criticized. Believe us, he / she already feels a sense of shame at having fallen into the trap and having trouble turning the page. He / She is most certainly the first (-ère) to want to get out of this heavy atmosphere. Instead of throwing a condescending tone in her face, keep an open mind. Whatever you say, be delicate. But don't be afraid to ask him questions about his relationship. To know how he / she feels, and how this relationship affects him / her on a daily basis. The goal ? That he / she hear his / her answers aloud so that he / she becomes aware of his / her discomfort to finally find the courage to go away. He / she has to come to this conclusion on his own, you obviously can't force him to do so. You can simply support him / her during this transition which will not be easy.
Boosts his self-confidence
If your friend is often belittled or humiliated on a daily basis in their relationship, their confidence in him / her has probably taken a big hit. He / she must certainly think that he / she does not deserve better than this unhealthy bond. So do not hesitate to remind him of his many qualities and everything you like about him / her. The goal is to raise his / her self-esteem as much as possible so that he / she understands that he / she is more solid than he / she imagines.. Make it clear that he / she has the right to be happy. (-se). To have all the happiness in the world and to be treated at its fair value. Just give him / her the strength he / she needs to leave this relationship so bad for his sanity. With your support, he / she could finally have the click to get out.
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